Holding On To Hope



I like to consider myself a stronger and  more confident person as a result of the challenges life has dealt our family in recent years. I have learned lessons along the way and I know that you have to be an advocate, in times of challenge, for either yourself or those that need a voice. In the past, I would have said, “I don’t want to bring attention to anything” or “Why make waves?” That is no longer the case. I will fight for what is right and in terms of my daughter’s shoulder issues, I will keep pressing for answers whether it be a new form of physical therapy, a different specialist, or something academic related. I often wish I could help other families, as an advocate, in educational and medical matters. I know what we have gone through,and what we continue to go through, as a family. To have someone be a guide in the abyss of the medical and surgical world would have been a godsend.

I could use an advocate, right now,who has connections to every shoulder guru there is to be seen. How is it that this case is so original? We are seeing a top doctor now who also treats pro athletes but even he is perplexed as to why the shoulder is not maintaining stability. We are now about 3 1/2 years into this nightmare yet outsiders look at her and would never know her pain level or her daily struggles. Kelly will not crack, as she plows through this, and has excelled academically in her first full year back in 3 years right along with her twin sister. They are a great team!

For now, I pray, research, and continue to try to grow as a person. I need to be the best version of me–a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an advocate, a friend, and an educator. If I don’t, I am helping no one and I am not serving as a good role model for my girls.

Please remember, in your daily encounters, that everyone is struggling or going through something. Sometimes it is a visible struggle but often it is the invisible pain and struggles that can be the heaviest to carry. Always remember to be patient, kind, and to see the good everywhere. You could be the “light” in someone’s dark and cloudy day.

Keep on hoping! I know I will!!


A Letter To My Daughters


blogDear Girls,

As we begin another school year, I want to take this opportunity to impart some advice, thank you both, and surround you with love. This is another big year, for both of you, in so many ways. The future awaits you and is ready for the dreams, skills, talents, and plans you will bring to it. May you never lose your desire to learn. There is so much out there and so much to be discovered, read, and shared. Follow your dreams and never let another discourage, belittle, or alter those dreams. You are in the driver’s seat. Your future awaits! It is okay for you to change the dream a bit or to come up with a completely new one. As long as YOU are the one who decides. Explore your interests! Join a club or two. It is alright if your friends do not join the same clubs. Varied interests can keep a friendship fresh and renewed.

Take time to be silly or to have a really good belly laugh! It clears the “cobwebs” in the mind and helps with a fresh perspective. Find your own path but know that those that love and support you will be there along the way. Remember to reach out and grab onto one of them periodically. We become stronger when we reach out to others. It is better to do that than to become overwhelmed and frustrated. When you make decisions, that effect your future, be sure to do them after careful consideration and consultation. Never make a decision based solely on what someone else thinks or feels. You will only let yourself down if you do that.

We have always used the expression, “Be true to who you are” in our house and this quote sums up the central beliefs that this letter sprang out of today. If you both stay strong and positive and grow from each learning experience, there will be no stopping the goals you both hope to accomplish.

Thank you for all you continue to teach me. I love you both and I am incredibly proud of all that you have accomplished thus far.

The best is yet to come! I am so excited to see what the future holds for you, my lovely daughters!



Tell Tale Signs




I admire those whose have a heightened awareness of what is going on around them in their daily lives. Although I consider myself an individual who has had a strong faith filled upbringing; I do not see myself as an extremely intuitive person. However, I do aspire to be one of those that I admire. There are many, who have reached that heightened awareness status, and never miss tell tale signs that a loved one’s presence is nearby. It may be a random penny found by someone’s feet or maybe a beautiful cardinal has flown by and perched itself up high in a backyard tree. I know one friend, who every time she comes across a butterfly she knows that her beloved relative is giving her guidance and letting her know that she is not alone.

Since I am journeying towards being more positive and being present in the moment, this issue is never far from my mind. A few hours ago I was quickly passing through a room, in my home, and literally stopped in my tracks. Out of the corner of my eye was what I believed to be a rainbow in the distance. After this abrupt stop, I made my way to the window and sure enough there was a lovely rainbow. I looked up and with a smile and I said a prayer. For I now know that this was my sign that we all have what we need to prosper and enjoy the blessings that we are given. Sometimes the answer truly does lie “right in our own backyard.” May that rainbow bring peace and be a wonderful symbol of hope to whomever had their eyes on it. I know it did for me!

A friend of mine, who is an author and motivator, posted a poster tonight with the words “You can’t live in faith and fear. It’s one or the other.” Remember, to heed these words everyone and choose faith every time. Faith that all will work out and answers will be found,also faith that  peace will be made and lastly love will prevail.





What No One Tells You in Discharge Instructions



Very often when a close family member has a challenge to their health, the implication of how it impacts the family dynamics is not delved into all that much before leaving the hospital. This is not meant to be a selfish statement rather a look into a forgotten fact. The focus, naturally, is on the family member climbing their own uphill battle. However, it is crucial to keep eyes and ears open for concerns of all other members within the family.


*Keep an open dialogue *Express any fears or concerns *Reach out to friends *Maintain a grateful heart *Proper rest *Resume or alter family activities so all can participate *Look for little examples of hope around you *BREATH! *Do not be be afraid to ask for help *Know things will improve

My family is breathing a sigh of relief after yesterday and while we are grateful, for the outcome, today is a day for letting out the breath it felt like we were holding for months. No one tells you how drained and exhausted the family will be the next day or so. I am pretty sure I did not read that information among the discharge instructions!! (Humor is also desperately needed at these times to see beyond the present situation!!)

I read a lot about how to deal with the physical pains but nothing regarding the pain of how to help your children adapt to new limitations or how to set new goals when old ones were taking away involuntarily. I also did not see anything on what to say to your children when they had planned to start the next phase of their life together, starting high school, when in reality one will continue on the original planned path while the other must face a new reality with its own set of original challenges.

Yes, one weight has been lifted since yesterday and in exchange are a few fears and doubts. I love my family and my life but I cannot help wishing some of the answers to my questions and concerns could be found in those discharge instructions. When you are sent off, into the unknown, it can be a little scary and overwhelming.

Hang on to your loved ones, grab onto hope, and never give up!! That would be a splendid addition to those discharge instructions!