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Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me?

Summer is 1 week away and I am ending another school year. That also means our daughters are too! We just attended an honors program and the second year of high school is almost in the books. With that has come talks, schedules for the next 2 years, plans for the future, proms, banquets, college tours, and possible majors. Along with the usual dilemmas comes dilemmas specific to multiples. Do we stay together and go to the same college or is it time to break up the team? Hard to imagine the latter and when I do, it tugs at my heart strings and I start to feel very sad. Yes, I am sentimental. I can’t help it. Why didn’t anyone tell me that with these proud milestones would come a bit of heartache?

” Don’t Blink” is a country song which has the lyrics trace the many stages of a child growing up and it is so true. My optimistic side  has me feeling proud, at the moment, yet I’m in utter disbelief that we are at this point. Didn’t we just drop them off at Kindergarten? My favorite piece of advice, to the girls has always been “stay true to who you are.” It encompasses a lot and has stood the test of time. I love watching them grow into the wonderful people they were meant to be in this world. Why didn’t anyone tell me that the time truly would go quickly? I remember it not seeming that way in the diaper and sleepless nights stage. That now seems like a lifetime ago.

I struggle with this new stage and the challenges presented. It is requiring me to do some redefining of my own in terms of my roles. The positive spin is that change is good and leads to growth. New interests can be formed and old ones dusted off and brought back to the forefront. I am moving into this new territory slowly. It is inevitable, I realize, so why fight it? Tell that to my heart! Why didn’t anyone tell me that what I am feeling, inside now, is 100x worse than the first day of kindergarten?

525,600 minutes. The show Rent points out the importance of this amount in our lives. Time passes and it is up to us to take advantage of every moment and opportunity. In the same line of thinking is the fact that there are 780 days in high school. I hope our children measure their success in many different forms and always strive to help others. I love that they are conscious of the need to reach out and I hope they never lose it. Why didn’t anyone tell me that, with each milestone/achievement, it can feel like a step into the future for our children without us?  Wait…. How did this happen?

Why didn’t anyone tell me that this hurts? Now I remember… my parents did but I was the child and not the parent then. My how things have changed. I will change with them but I’m not 100% ready and I’m not 100% ok with it and I own that. It is who I am!

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Holding On To Hope

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I like to consider myself a stronger and  more confident person as a result of the challenges life has dealt our family in recent years. I have learned lessons along the way and I know that you have to be an advocate, in times of challenge, for either yourself or those that need a voice. In the past, I would have said, “I don’t want to bring attention to anything” or “Why make waves?” That is no longer the case. I will fight for what is right and in terms of my daughter’s shoulder issues, I will keep pressing for answers whether it be a new form of physical therapy, a different specialist, or something academic related. I often wish I could help other families, as an advocate, in educational and medical matters. I know what we have gone through,and what we continue to go through, as a family. To have someone be a guide in the abyss of the medical and surgical world would have been a godsend.

I could use an advocate, right now,who has connections to every shoulder guru there is to be seen. How is it that this case is so original? We are seeing a top doctor now who also treats pro athletes but even he is perplexed as to why the shoulder is not maintaining stability. We are now about 3 1/2 years into this nightmare yet outsiders look at her and would never know her pain level or her daily struggles. Kelly will not crack, as she plows through this, and has excelled academically in her first full year back in 3 years right along with her twin sister. They are a great team!

For now, I pray, research, and continue to try to grow as a person. I need to be the best version of me–a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an advocate, a friend, and an educator. If I don’t, I am helping no one and I am not serving as a good role model for my girls.

Please remember, in your daily encounters, that everyone is struggling or going through something. Sometimes it is a visible struggle but often it is the invisible pain and struggles that can be the heaviest to carry. Always remember to be patient, kind, and to see the good everywhere. You could be the “light” in someone’s dark and cloudy day.

Keep on hoping! I know I will!!

A Change in Perspective

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I miss writing for my blog! There I have said it! It has been just about 2 weeks since I posted in my blog.

Life has moved on in my life. Summer has officially ended for me. A return to work and school for all. Routines are new and tried out to see what works and what doesn’t. It is a matter of trial and error these first few weeks. Also, back to school nights are done. Grateful for that!

I intend to have a creative outlet each day. Even if it is just 15 minutes. I plan on cross stitching or writing during this time set aside. It will cultivate my creative side and help me to focus better on the other area of my life . I love creating things.

My first posting, not that things have settled, will be this Wednesday. I hope to post weekly either on Tuesdays or Wednesdays.

Thanks for reading,

A Letter To My Daughters

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blogDear Girls,

As we begin another school year, I want to take this opportunity to impart some advice, thank you both, and surround you with love. This is another big year, for both of you, in so many ways. The future awaits you and is ready for the dreams, skills, talents, and plans you will bring to it. May you never lose your desire to learn. There is so much out there and so much to be discovered, read, and shared. Follow your dreams and never let another discourage, belittle, or alter those dreams. You are in the driver’s seat. Your future awaits! It is okay for you to change the dream a bit or to come up with a completely new one. As long as YOU are the one who decides. Explore your interests! Join a club or two. It is alright if your friends do not join the same clubs. Varied interests can keep a friendship fresh and renewed.

Take time to be silly or to have a really good belly laugh! It clears the “cobwebs” in the mind and helps with a fresh perspective. Find your own path but know that those that love and support you will be there along the way. Remember to reach out and grab onto one of them periodically. We become stronger when we reach out to others. It is better to do that than to become overwhelmed and frustrated. When you make decisions, that effect your future, be sure to do them after careful consideration and consultation. Never make a decision based solely on what someone else thinks or feels. You will only let yourself down if you do that.

We have always used the expression, “Be true to who you are” in our house and this quote sums up the central beliefs that this letter sprang out of today. If you both stay strong and positive and grow from each learning experience, there will be no stopping the goals you both hope to accomplish.

Thank you for all you continue to teach me. I love you both and I am incredibly proud of all that you have accomplished thus far.

The best is yet to come! I am so excited to see what the future holds for you, my lovely daughters!

Love,

Mom

Ten Things I Like About Fall

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Fall Colours in Ontario Canada Oakville Luxury Waterfront Real Estate www.OakvilleRealEstateOnline.com

As the Summer season starts to fade away and Fall eases into place very soon, it is time now to be reflective and think about what I love about the season we are approaching. With that being said, here are my top 10 Fall likes.

1) Leaves changing colors.

2) Soup Time-I love so many types but my favorite is definitely potato soup.

3) Hot chocolate and hot tea. I have both year round but more often, naturally, as the weather changes.

4) My wedding anniversary. We were married in October because I love this time of year so much.

5) Fall festivals and pumpkin picking. A great time to gather friends and family and head off to one on a beautiful weekend. Age is not a factor.

6) Blankets and curling up with a good book on a chilly day.

7) Baking-I am not a big baker but I love to whip up breads or cookies at this time. My goal is to attempt some baking with apples this year. Any great recipes to recommend?

8) Winery trip/tour-I love the landscape that wineries provide. Such beauty in simple settings. You can be educated on varieties of wine and the production process. A picnic lunch at one of them tops off the day with family and friends.

9) Crafting-My need to do so kicks into high gear. Homemade Christmas gifts are on tap this year.

10) Thanksgiving-The feeling of being grateful for all of the blessings in my life. My children have also expressed to me how this is a favorite holiday because of the emphasis on family.

I am interested in knowing do you have any great fall recipes to share? Soups, breads, or cookies? Also, what would be on your top 10 Fall likes?

Feel free to comment.

Best Laid Plans-Ha Ha!!

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What was to be the weekend I got caught up on things (Ha-Ha), take a new exercise class, and meet up with a friend due to my family being away, turned into a weekend with my daughter who had strep throat. By the way, where did that come from? This is August not January! Now of course you never want your children to be sick but Saturday and Sunday turned into a great bonding experience. We truly turned this into a living in the moment exercise.

For example, we discovered Lucy and Desi episodes running, consecutively, all weekend. A win-win for us since we love the series from start to finish! In addition, dinner both nights was relatively healthy still and involved minimal effort. Yay-me! Healthy summer fruit was a side dish on both nights. Of course, Saturday night was a “cheat” night since we found a flavor of ice cream that my daughter has been wanting to try for quite some time. Jimmy Fallon’s-The Tonight Dough by Benn and Jerry. Now that she has tried it, she loves it! Our afternoon break, from Lucy and Desi, consisted of watching daily videos from favorite British You Tubers. Love keeping up on the vlogs.

Sunday brought a better feeling daughter and breakfast outside in our side yard. The bonding and viewing continued. Despite all of the television viewing, I was able to finish a book in one weekend. That is a luxury!! The day was finished off with favorite snacks and beverages to help a sore throat.

It is interesting to see, when you do not have a choice, how truly present in the moment you can become along with being aware of every detail in your surroundings. It was a gift in disguise!  I can always take a class another day. Time with my daughter was priceless!